Thursday, November 21, 2019

Frazzeled Frustration

I try so hard😭😭😭😭. Okay, wait first let me back up a bit. Hello, it has been a while since I last posted due to some discoveries happening in the crazy household. We finally got an official diagnosis on one of the twins Zane what we have speculated for a while now. Zane has to be diagnosed on the autistic spectrum. Lately, things have just been....I don't know I think my brain has taken a vacation.

Zane has good days and bad days, and lately its been every day of the week almost. It is something or other with him. Hitting a classmate. Telling his teacher no he does not want to do his work. If it was not Zane it was then his twin Aidan and Aidan usually is good! Let me just give you a list of Zane's latest.

Loses Jacket Every Day
It's chilly out! How do you lose/forget your jacket! Zane has sensory issues he does not feel hot or cold like we do. One day we lost two jackets in a row! I never got that hoodie back either!

Solution: Like a GOOD mom I am I make Zane a little checklist to put by his cubby it was not just his jacket he would forget. His folder, his important papers Mommy NEEDED TO SEE. It worked but then he's now managed to somehow forget the backpack altogether(We believe he left it on the bus as the teacher says it is not in the classroom). At least he had his jacket on!

Pooped in the Bathtub
WHAAAAT! Zane you are 6 years old you can control your bowels what possessed you...not worth the fight...not worth the yelling. Please do not do that again sweetie we do not poo in the bathtub. It's gross you could get sick and your brother sick. We love you! And when we confronted him he started peeing. Dad asks Zane are you peeing in the tub. Zane goes, "No". WE SEE YOU ZANE!

Zane never does this, but it is a first time for everything! From what I got he hit a girl cause he does not like girls. Zane told me the girl was strange and she was in his way and so he just pushed her aside. Gave a lecture on why we do not hit and to treat others as we would like to be treated. True not everyone is nice, but its best to be kind and love.

Schools and bus drivers know Zane is autistic but that is it. They still think he is just misbehaving. I used to think so too. No, he is having an autistic sensory meltdown. He over stimulating. He does not know what is going on. He freaks out. The thing is they give us warning signs this is happening. Teacher thing Zane is just being disruptive. No lady he is warning you he is having issues! Made this aware at the beginning of the school year. Didn't take my advice much. 😠😠. We are working on Zane to articulate when he starts feeling this way. He has done so even a couple of times. There are soothing techniques that work with him. When he starts doing the annoying disruptive things let him have a decompression time. He is totally zen after and ready to focus. After recess, this should be done for him as well. He is majorly overstimulated at this point and its usually around lunch and recess time they have issues. UGH! I asked for a meeting to talk about Zane and all this. Tell them they do not have to have these issues they have with Zane. There are tips and he does give you warning signs. These meltdowns can be avoided mostly.


By the way, Yesterday was the school hitting and pooping in bathtub thing. Today was going to be a better day! Oh oops, I lost my backpack. *facepalm* I try so hard. 😭😭.  Love my Zanie though. Can't be frustrated for long with him. I just had to maniacal muse.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Joys of Home Schooling

After an “unsettling” incident in the public schools, I decided to take my twins out of public school and homeschool them. It had been an idea that I and my husband has been toying with for quite some time. We had been trying to get them into this other pe-k school, but we were put on the waiting list. One day we got the call about them homeschool program since we’ve been on the waiting list so long, and would we be interested…well after that “unsettling incident” in the public schools, I was like YEAH! So far, I am loving it!

The Reason Why I Put them in Pre-K, to Begin With

When it was time to put the twins in pre-k I was ready. Finally, all kids were in school. It was now MOMMY TIME! It mostly meant yay I can finally focus on my writing again which is completely difficult to do when you got little twins at home, then when the “unsettling incident” happened I am like humph! I am homeschooling! To try and do anything that benefits yourself is impossible with my kids around. Today I realized why I had put them in public school in the first place.

 I was simply trying to do my physical therapy exercises. I swear it was every 5 seconds someone had to use the bathroom.  Would have been fine if they knew how to operate their jeans right, but they did not thus mommy had to help. Okay, I helped them with their pants they are 4 they can do the rest, right? Nope. I go back to my exercises and here they come out waddling to me with their pants bunched around their ankles. Can't you pull up your own pants? To which they responded we want you to do it, mommy. Nothing says a mother’s love than having her pull your trousers up for you. Why did I want to homeschool again?
In all seriousness though I love getting to homeschool. The day is run by a little invisible schedule in my head which you must make highly flexible due to those little things that pop up in life. I learned that the hard way. In fact, it still sometimes bothers me when my scheduled day does not go right.

I also get to personally see my children’s strengths and weaknesses and what they might need special attention in. 
In the program, they test them at the beginning of the school year and at the end of the school year to see what they have learned. I noticed at the end of last year one of my twins was having problems with a certain area. Even though we got a summer break we were still learning. I worked with him on those issues. At the beginning of this school year, he passed the section he had trouble with at the end of last school year. It made me so proud. I helped him! I felt lucky and blessed to be able to do this. Will I continue homeschooling all the way up to their graduation? No, it is more than likely we will enroll them in Kindergarten next school year. I am hesitant though the homeschool program does extend into Kindergarten, yeah, its time this emotional mama gets a break. You can’t be your best if you don’t take care of self. Oh boy, do I need to listen to that mantra more.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

How Hickory Dickory Dock Turned into a CSI Murder Case

Here is a torrid case where all good intentions somehow turned dark as a mother sings to her children the sweet familiar little nursery rhyme song Hickory, Dickory, Dock.
You never know how dark and twisted a sweet simple nursery rhyme song can go until you get it in the hands of a writer mom who loves Stephen King and The Walking Dead.

You see we had watched this nursery rhyme video that had cute extended lyrics to the good old poem to which I was trying to sing, but for the life of me drew a blank, so I ad-libbed! What resulted was something that would make the Brothers Grim proud.

 Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck ONE the mouse ran down. 
Hickory dickory dock.

Tick-tock Tic tock, Tick tock...

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck TWO I… uh… hit it with a shoe?Ew! I knew it was going to be downhill from here, but oh come one let’s see where this goes!

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck THREE I…uh. screamed… EEE! Hickory, dickory, dock.

Tick, tock, Tick, tock, Tick tock…

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck FOUR… um the mouse ran across the floor. Hickory Dickory dock.

Tick, tock, Tick, tock, Tick tock…

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck FIVE it’s still alive! (After hitting it with a shoe of course.) Hickory dickory dock.

Tick, tock, Tick tock, Tick tock…

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck SIX I…uh. hit it...with...a…brick? (wince, oh my gosh I just killed the sweet mouse!) Hickory dickory dock.

 Tick, tock Tick tock, Tick tock…

Hickory, dickory, dock the mouse ran up the clock(How we do not know after getting hit with a brick but wait for it.). The clock struck SEVEN the mouse went up to heaven. Hickory, dickory…

 Oh my gosh, I just turned Hickory, Dickory, Dock, into a CSI murder case to my CHILDREN! Who were by the way lying in their beds rolling around in laughter not disturbed at all. Correction they ARE DISTURBED! Yep, my kids probably need therapy now.

Monday, October 2, 2017


I'm back! Welcome to my new blog Emotional Mama. My previous blog Single Motherhood(Musings of a single mom) had come to an end as I became single no more. The amazing thing is it is somehow still popular! I have also gotten 6 new followers! Seeing this it has inspired Emotional Mama. 

Emotional Mama will continue my musing of motherhood(My Zach is now almost 13 and the twins are 4.),  the ever adjustment from being single for so long to marriage-hood, and being a mom who battles with chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. Come and journey with this MeNtAl MaMa!